So, since things are a little backwards and weird this year, I will share with you "The 12 Days (After) Christmas!" This was written by a cute little young couple that are newly married and living here for one year on a scholarship student assignment. They sang it for us at our White Elephant Party this year and received a standing ovation!
(See my explanation/clarification notes at the end of the song...)
The 12 Days of Christmas (in China)
Lyrics by Jarek and Kaylee Buss
On the first day of Christmas
dear China gave to me,
Air you can see and not
breathe
On the second day of
Christmas dear China gave to me,
Two rock hard beds
And air you can see and not
breathe
On the third day of Christmas
dear China gave to me,
Three baby butts
Two rock hard beds
And air you can see and not
breathe
On the fourth day of
Christmas dear China gave to me,
Four panda suits
Three baby butts
Two rock hard beds
And air you can see and not
breathe
On the fifth day of Christmas
a student said to me,
MY NAME IS AIR
Four panda suits
Three baby butts
Two rock hard beds
And air you can see and not
breathe
On the sixth day of Christmas
dear China gave to me,
Six singing trucks
PLEASE CALL ME DOLPHIN
Four panda suits
Three baby butts
Two rock hard beds
And air you can see and not
breathe
On the seventh day of
Christmas dear China gave to me,
Seven cars a-honking
Six singing trucks
MY NAME IS EARTH
Four panda suits
Three baby butts
Two rock hard beds
And air you can see and not
breathe
On the eighth day of
Christmas dear China gave to me,
*HHHHHKKKKKK*
Seven cars a-honking
Six singing trucks
APPLE IS MY NAME
Four panda suits
Three baby butts
Two rock hard beds
And air you can see and not
breathe
On the ninth day of Christmas
dear China gave to me,
Nine ladies dancing
*HHHHHKKKKKK*
Seven cars a-honking
Six singing trucks
I CAN’T SAY MY NAME
Four panda suits
Three baby butts
Two rock hard beds
And air you can see and not
breathe
On the tenth day of Christmas
dear China gave to me,
Ten hours to download
Nine ladies dancing
*HHHHHKKKKKK*
Seven cars a-honking
Six singing trucks
CALL ME T-REX
Four panda suits
Three baby butts
Two rock hard beds
And air you can see and not breathe
On the eleventh day of
Christmas dear China gave to me,
Eleven squatty potties
Ten hours to download
Nine ladies dancing
*HHHHHKKKKKK*
Seven cars a-honking
Six singing trucks
HIS NAME’S BAD BOY…?
(Seriously?)
Four panda suits
Three baby butts
Two rock hard beds
And air you can see and not
breathe
On the Twelfth day of
Christmas dear China gave to me,
A billion people staring
Eleven squatty potties
Ten hours to download
Nine ladies dancing
*HHHHHKKKKKK*
Seven cars a-honking
Six singing trucks
PLEASE CHANGE YOUR NAME!!!!
Four panda suits
Three baby butts
Two rock hard beds
And air you can see and not
breathe!
My explanation....
1st Day - The air quality in China is nothing to laugh about!!! It is BAAAAD!!!
2nd Day - I have not slept on ONE soft bed in China...not ONE!!
3rd Day - I LOVE the little baby butts! Everywhere you go the little children have wide open crotch pants and while walking behind them all you see is 2 little bum cheeks! Seriously, so cute...but that also means that with cute bums comes lots of wet spots and other spots on the pavement that you really try to avoid.
4th Day - You can pretty much buy anything made to look like a panda (purses, shirts, vests, hats, etc.)
5th Day - Chinese students choose their own English name and sometimes they are just plain weird and we have NO idea where they came up with the name.
6th Day - Singing trucks are everywhere...garbage trucks play "It's a Small World" and the street cleaner trucks play "Jingle Bells" 24/7.
7th Day - no explanation needed...1.4 billion people, 80 million cars and far less parking spots available.
8th Day - a common sound heard all the time, everywhere on the streets is a perfected hacking/clearing of the throat with a solid and swift spit to the pavement.
9th Day - at night you can see gatherings of women in public squares in front of schools, shopping centers, etc. dancing together for socialization and exercise.
10th Day - internet....bad....download....not....good.....
11th Day - western toilets...nope! Squatters...yup! I'm getting quite proficient but still despise it.
12th Day - wherever we go, we are an oddity and attract attention. We do our best to not embarrass ourselves or you. ;)
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! Or as we say here in China, "Sheng Dan Kuai Le!!!!"
